DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? WELL, I DO....ALL THE TIME...IT'S ALOT EASIER THEN TALKING TO SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU ARE PROBLEM SOLVING..DON'T CHA THINK...I SAY "SELF" THIS IS THE PROBLEM...NOW, LET'S GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS...OF COURSE PEOPLE SAY "WHAT?" ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? I SAY "NOPE" TALKING TO "ME"...OH.! LOL....LIKE THEY DON'T DO IT....RIGHT!
WELL, I GOT THOSE DAMN FUCKING BRACES FOR MY KNEES..WORE THEM ONE DAY AND FLUNG THEM TO THE SIDE...THOSE FREAKING THINGS HURT LIKE FIRE UP YOUR ASS....WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING..OH YES I WILL BE A GOOD DO BE AND WHERE THE TORTURE DEVICES...I BE THINKING NOT....THEY CAN WEAR THEM!
I GOT MY MRI APPT..FOR MONDAY..GOT NERVE DAMAGE IN MY SPIAN...YUP...YOU CAN COUNT ON ME FOR THE NEWEST DISCOVERIES ON HOW YOUR BODY BREAKS DOWN...FRET NOT..I ALSO HAVE TO GET B12 SHOTS NOW...WHAT THE FUCK...ALL THESE DOCTORS ARE FREAKING OUT OF THEIR MINDS...REALLY....TEST AFTER TEST..MY REGULAR DOCTOR SAYS" OH LET ME KNOW WHAT THE MRI RESULTS ARE." OKAY I SAY...SHE SAYS SHE KNOW A GOOD NERO SURGEON SHE WOULD SEND ME TOO...SURGEON...FUCK THAT...I FEEL LIKE THE SCARE CROW IN THE WIZARD OF OZ..IN FACT I WILL LOOK FOR MY RUBY SLIPPERS...AND CLICK THEM 3 TIMES MAYBE 4 OR 5 TIMES AND SAY" MOTHER FUCKERS LEAVE ME ALONE ! THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME...TAKE ME HOME MOTHER SHIP NOW!
YA THINK IT WILL WORK? COME ON GIVE ME A VOTE HERE...ANYTHING...A COOKIE...CHOCOLATE?
WENT SHOPPING THE OTHER DAY..GOT NEW SNEAKERS AND SOME NEW OUTFITS...GOTTA LOOK GOOD TO GO TO PYSCHIAL THERAPY YA KNOW...TODAY I GO...LET'S SEE HOW THAT GOES...
LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES...YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YA GONNA GET....LOVE THAT MOVIE..GO FOREST GO!
STILL HAVE MY STITCHES IN MY LIP THEY COME OUT TODAY...SHOULD I TAKE PICTURES SO YOU CAN SEE THEM TAKE THEM OUT..? NA...I WON'T YOU CAN'T MAKE ME..
WELL, THAT'S IT FOLKS...SMILE AND BE GOOD OR NOT..I CHOOSE NOT....LOL
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
6 THING ABOUT ME
OKAY MISSY TAGGED ME...http://learningtoadapt.blogspot.com
I AM SUPPOSE TO LIST 6 THINGS ABOUT ME NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT ME...LOL!
1.I TALK IN MY SLEEP EVERY NIGHT AND EVEN TALK IN OTHER LANGUAGES VERY LOUDLY..EVEN WAKE UP AND REALIZE I AM TALKING AND GO BACK TO SLEEP TALKING...LOL
2.I AM A VERY SHY PERSON..EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE ME...CAUSE I AM ALWAYS LAUGHING AND TALKING TO PEOPLE...
3.I AM A LONER,YET PEOPLE DON'T GET IT..REALLY...LOVE TO BE BY MYSELF WITH THE OUTDOORS AND MY DOG.
4.I GIVE FAIR WARNING TO PEOPLE BEFORE I ATTACK....ALWAYS HAVE ..ALWAYS WILL...THEY NEVER EXPECT IT...DON'T KNOW WHY.I GIVE THEM FAIR WARNING..BACK OFF OR ELSE...I'M A REBEL FOR SURE.
5.I AM A CAT PERSON..ALTHOUGH I ALWAYS HAVE A DOG...
6.I DO NOT...REPEAT...DO NOT LIKE TO BE WAKEN UP FOR ANY REASON..EXCEPT AN EMERGENCY...I WILL DECK YA....LOL NOT KIDDING.
I AM SUPPOSE TO LIST 6 THINGS ABOUT ME NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT ME...LOL!
1.I TALK IN MY SLEEP EVERY NIGHT AND EVEN TALK IN OTHER LANGUAGES VERY LOUDLY..EVEN WAKE UP AND REALIZE I AM TALKING AND GO BACK TO SLEEP TALKING...LOL
2.I AM A VERY SHY PERSON..EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE ME...CAUSE I AM ALWAYS LAUGHING AND TALKING TO PEOPLE...
3.I AM A LONER,YET PEOPLE DON'T GET IT..REALLY...LOVE TO BE BY MYSELF WITH THE OUTDOORS AND MY DOG.
4.I GIVE FAIR WARNING TO PEOPLE BEFORE I ATTACK....ALWAYS HAVE ..ALWAYS WILL...THEY NEVER EXPECT IT...DON'T KNOW WHY.I GIVE THEM FAIR WARNING..BACK OFF OR ELSE...I'M A REBEL FOR SURE.
5.I AM A CAT PERSON..ALTHOUGH I ALWAYS HAVE A DOG...
6.I DO NOT...REPEAT...DO NOT LIKE TO BE WAKEN UP FOR ANY REASON..EXCEPT AN EMERGENCY...I WILL DECK YA....LOL NOT KIDDING.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER POST
YES IT'S ANOTHER DAY...AND HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER THOUGHT...THAT COULD BE DANGEROUS...LOL
WELL, IT IS VOTING DAY...YIKES...WHAT OR WHO WILL BE THE PREZ? Hmmmmm....HAVEN'T A CLUE...WE CAN ONLY WAIT AND SEE....I'LL WATCH THE VOTING LIKE I WATCH A SCARY MOVIE..WITH MY HANDS OVER MY EYES PEEKING THOUGH MY FINGERS...WITH ALL THE LIGHTS ON IN THE ROOM....
REALLY IT'S SCARY...DON'T CHA THINK?
ON ANOTHER NOTE IT IS SUPPOSE TO BE 65 DEGREES OUT TODAY..WHAT THE HELL? AND FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK...I CONFUSE EASY..GET LOST IN THE BATH TUB WHEN I TURN AROUND..AND NOW THIS..IT JUST WAS 18 DEGREES OUT...AND WE HAD SNOW ALREADY....
MESSING WITH MY MIND IS NOT A GOOD THING...I HARDLY KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HALF THE TIMES AND THE OTHER HALF I'M EITHER FALLING OR GETTING INTO TROUBLE AND DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED..LOL
WELL, THIS GIRL STOPPED BY MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT..GIRL MEANING SHE IS 17 YRS.OLD..SHE IS MESSED UP AND NEEDED TO TALK TO ME...SO BEING MY HOUSE IS SO FULL OF PEOPLE AND NO WHERE REALLY TO GO...WE WENT FOR A WALK AROUND 7:30 AND TALKED...KIDS COME TO ME FOR ADVICE AND I TRY TO HELP THEM THE BEST I CAN...AS DO OTHER PEOPLE...THAT HAS HOW IT'S ALWAYS BEEN...MY OWN KIDS FRIENDS WOULD CALL ME MOM AND TALK TO ME ALL THE TIME..I ALWAYS TAKE TIME TO HELP SOMEONE NO MATTER WHAT...THAT'S JUST WHO I AM...I TOLD MY PAGE WOULD CONFUSE AND CONFOUND THE GENERAL PUBLIC...MOST HAVE SAID I SHOULD BECOME A COUNSELOR...EVEN MY OWN DOCTOR AND TEACHERS...I FIND JUST HELPING OTHERS IS EASIER WHEN THEY NEED IT...
I AM GLAD I DID WALK WITH HER..I CAN'T GO INTO DETAILS CAUSE IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT...I NEVER TELL..I'M JUST THERE FOR WHO EVER..EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN...JUST A HUG..AND I GET MANY OF THOSE...
SO TODAY, THE GRANDKIDS AND DAUGHTER AND I WILL BE OUTSIDE MOST OF THE DAY...FIRST THE ONE HAS PRE-SCHOOL THEN WE WILL BE ON OUR ADVENTURES...LOVE IT OUTDOORS...
LOVE NATURE..CAN'T KEEP ME IN...AS YOU ALL KNOW...I WALK CHEROKEE IN EVERY TYPE OF WEATHER..SORT OF LIKE A MAIL PERSON..LOL
SO THAT'S MY BLOG FOR TODAY..
HAVE A PEACEFUL AND HAPPY SNAPPY ONE....
Monday, November 3, 2008
BREATHE IN..AND OUT..BREATHE IN..COUGH COUGH..EXCUSE ME
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD YOU SAY FUCK TOO MUCH...WELL, I HAVE...CAN'T HELP MYSELF...IT'S LIKE BREATHING TO ME..FUCK THIS AND FUCK THAT AND FUCK THAT TOO....I HAVE USED THAT WORD SINCE I LEARNED IT..LIKE MY ABC'S...YA KNOW...IT'S PART OF WHO I AM...LIKE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY...GOES TOGETHER...SHIT IS ANOTHER WORD THAT I USE ALSO...I DON'T CARE...THAT'S ME..I GOTTA BE MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I TRY TO BEHAVE WHEN LITTLE ONES ARE AROUND REALLY... TRY REALLY REALLY HARD....AND BELIEVE ME IT IS HARD...PEOPLE SAY I HAVE A MOUTH LIKE A TRUCK DRIVER..ALWAYS HAVE...BUT, I CAN BE NICE WHEN I REALLY HAVE TO...I HAVE A SOFT SIDE TO ME...REALLY I DO....COUGH COUGH...LOL
THE OTHER THING MY DAUGTHER SAYS TO ME IS " WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO DAMN?" DAMN FREAKING THIS! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR...DAMN IT ALL TO HELL..ETC...LOL...IT''S A STANDING JOKE WITH US..HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW..DAMN IT!
I KNOW I'M CRAZY AT TIMES..OKAY MOST OF THE TIME..BUT I CAN BE GOOD..REALLY..I DON'T LIKE TO ..CAUSE I LIKE TO BE ME....I CAN ADJUST TO OTHER PEOPLE AND THERE WAYS..BUT NOT TOO LONG...THEN I TAKE EXIT STAGE LEFT....ZOOOOM...I GO....BREATH IN AND BREATH OUT...F-U-C-K-I-N A,,,WHAT THE HELL...MO FO'S....
I KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE ME...BUT JUST WON'T ADMITT TO IT....I ADMITT TO IT...BUT I AM A SENSITIVE LOVING PERSON,CARING ETC. TOO...IMANGE THAT....
FUCK YEAH..I AM...I AM WHAT I AM...THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT..
AND REMEMBER TO VOTE TOMORROW...IF ANYONE IS GONNA VOTE..ME CONFUSED WHO TO VOTE FOR....
Sunday, November 2, 2008
SELF VALIDATION
Validation is something everybody searches for in this life. I have many friends in my life who express some need for validation: " you are gorgeous", "you are so intelligent", "you are so sexy", "you are so mentally strong, so physically strong", "you are very talented", "you are a great parent", "you are a wonderful friend", "you did a great job", "you are so inspiring". The list goes on and on. Everybody likes to hear good things said about oneself. It truly feels wonderful when we receive some form of validation.
Society sets us up to seek validation from infancy; we believe it aides our well being. Right when we think we are going to receive validation, it doesn't manifest or we are disappointed with what we are given. Even from our closest friends and family at times, we set ourselves up for this by making assumptions, that the other person will validate us. When, in most cases, they will read the situation differently, or don't give the amount of validation we where hoping for. This can leave us hurt and in some cases embarrassed by the event. Most times when we expect validation we will be let down or receive less than we expected, perpetuating the search for even more validation.
When this validation is not forthcoming we normally begin with questioning ourselves; what is wrong with me, why don't they like me, why am I not appreciated. Our self esteem takes a hit.
Should we feel upset at this point or is there something else going on here? Is this other person presenting a lesson to us? Are we smothering this person with continual requests for validation? Does the other person have a conflicting belief?. Why do we need another souls approval? These are all questions we should ask ourselves before we feel hurt and unappreciated.
The more we search for validation the greater chance we have of not getting validated. There is nothing wrong with wanting validation. We are taught from a very early age to seek it. I believe we lack the understanding of its benefit.
Lack of validation allows us to detach, reflecting on the other persons point of view. We can then assess why we were looking for that validation. Connecting to our higher self and question why we need the approval of another is healthier.
I believe self validation is the pathway we should be traveling. But this pathway is full of self hurt. When we are forced into a position of self evaluation, at the core level, our true higher self doesn't run on the superficial emotions that we are taught. The answers that come from the higher self are always true; that of unconditional acceptance. The true state of the soul is self respect, self love, self responsibility and the recognition of the confusion we manifest between our mind emotions and our heart emotions. Many of us are not prepared to accept the truth, so we continually look outside ourselves for validation.
Self validation is a lesson that is most difficult to learn. When we accept and own self responsibility, we recognise our true essence is one of Unconditional Love, unconditional acceptance, joy, and inner peace. We finally begin to take on that feeling of oneness within. This sense of oneness within allows us to feel connected to all creation. The bonus of this state is self validation with out conscious effort.
Life is far less complicated when we self validate. It means we never need another persons validation, we can accept ourselves with humility and grace and we leave another area of ego behind. When someone else praises us it means so much more. We find it easier to maintain a higher vibration of Love and peace within whilst our connection to others is enhanced when we are able to self validate..
Society sets us up to seek validation from infancy; we believe it aides our well being. Right when we think we are going to receive validation, it doesn't manifest or we are disappointed with what we are given. Even from our closest friends and family at times, we set ourselves up for this by making assumptions, that the other person will validate us. When, in most cases, they will read the situation differently, or don't give the amount of validation we where hoping for. This can leave us hurt and in some cases embarrassed by the event. Most times when we expect validation we will be let down or receive less than we expected, perpetuating the search for even more validation.
When this validation is not forthcoming we normally begin with questioning ourselves; what is wrong with me, why don't they like me, why am I not appreciated. Our self esteem takes a hit.
Should we feel upset at this point or is there something else going on here? Is this other person presenting a lesson to us? Are we smothering this person with continual requests for validation? Does the other person have a conflicting belief?. Why do we need another souls approval? These are all questions we should ask ourselves before we feel hurt and unappreciated.
The more we search for validation the greater chance we have of not getting validated. There is nothing wrong with wanting validation. We are taught from a very early age to seek it. I believe we lack the understanding of its benefit.
Lack of validation allows us to detach, reflecting on the other persons point of view. We can then assess why we were looking for that validation. Connecting to our higher self and question why we need the approval of another is healthier.
I believe self validation is the pathway we should be traveling. But this pathway is full of self hurt. When we are forced into a position of self evaluation, at the core level, our true higher self doesn't run on the superficial emotions that we are taught. The answers that come from the higher self are always true; that of unconditional acceptance. The true state of the soul is self respect, self love, self responsibility and the recognition of the confusion we manifest between our mind emotions and our heart emotions. Many of us are not prepared to accept the truth, so we continually look outside ourselves for validation.
Self validation is a lesson that is most difficult to learn. When we accept and own self responsibility, we recognise our true essence is one of Unconditional Love, unconditional acceptance, joy, and inner peace. We finally begin to take on that feeling of oneness within. This sense of oneness within allows us to feel connected to all creation. The bonus of this state is self validation with out conscious effort.
Life is far less complicated when we self validate. It means we never need another persons validation, we can accept ourselves with humility and grace and we leave another area of ego behind. When someone else praises us it means so much more. We find it easier to maintain a higher vibration of Love and peace within whilst our connection to others is enhanced when we are able to self validate..
Saturday, November 1, 2008
SPLIT MY LIP OPEN...OUCH
FIRST I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE FOR YOU INPUT ABOUT YESTERDAYS BLOG...I NEEDED TO HEAR WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT..CAUSE I AM GOING CRAZY WITH THAT....
YESTERDAY MORNING AT 8;15 MY JOURNEY BEGUN ....OFF TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT WHY MY FEET AND LEGS GO NUMB..IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY KNEES..HE NOW WANTS ME TO WEAR KNEE BRACES AND CONTINUE WITH PHYSICAL THERAPY FOR MY KNEES AND BACK..REASON BEING....
WHEN THEY DID THE NERVE AND MUSCLE STUDY THEY FOUND THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MY BACK..THEY TOOK X-RAYS AND NOW ARE SETTING UP AND MRI...WOO HOO... THAT TEST TOOK 2 HOURS OF SHOCKS AND NEEDLES...OUCH...MY DAUGHTER CAME IN WITH ME...HELD MY HAND...IT HURT LIKE A SON OF A BITCH...SHE DROVE HOME...GOT HOME POPPED A FEW PAIN KILLERS...THE CATS TORE DOWN MY CURTAINS..SO I HOPED ON THE COUCH TO FIX THEM AS I WAS COMING DOWN OFF THE COUCH..MY DOG JUMP UP..
CRASH INTO MY CHIN...BLOOD STARTED FLOWING ALL OVER THE PLACE..I SAID CHEROKEE YOU DREW BLOOD..I HATE THE TASTE OF BLOOD...YUCK..SO I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM AND MY TOOTH WENT THOUGH MY LIP...BLOOD EVERYWHERE..MEANWHILE JUST AS WE ARRIVED HOME..MY DAUGHTER HAD TO TAKE THE GIRLS FOR A CHECK UP AT THE DOCTORS..
SO HERE I AM WITH BLOOD ALL OVER MY FACE AND HANDS ..I GRABBED A FEW TISSUES AND POCKET BOOK AND WROTE A NOTE SAYING I WENT TO ER...
GOT THERE AND THEY SAID I NEEDED STICTHES...GREAT..THEY GAVE ME A TENUOUS SHOT..OUCH AND STICTHED UP MY FAT LIP...HOME I DRIVE...NOW IT'S 4:30 PM AND I AM TRYING TO REST...
TRICK OR TREATING STARTS AT 6PM AROUND HERE...MY SON IN LAW GOT US SOME BAILEYS SO I COULD RELAX...YUM...MY MOUTH WAS STILL NICE AND NUMB...SIP..SIP..SIP...GULP ..GULP.....TIME TO GET THE GIRLS READY FOR TRICK OR TRICKING...UGH
SO NANA GETS UP IN SO MUCH PAIN AND GETS DRESSED UP FOR THEM AND HELPS GET THEM DRESSED UP...I HAD MY OWN TRICK OR TRICKING BAD...THEY WERE SO HAPPY NANA WAS GOING..I WASN'T SO SURE I COULD DO IT..BUT IF THERE IS A WILL THERE'S A WAY...HUBBY STAYED BEHIND TO HAND OUT CANDY..OFF WE WENT INTO THE NIGHT...
THEY HAD A BLAST AND I EVEN GOT CANDY! GOT HOME AROUND 9PM...HAD SOME MORE BAILEYS AND WENT TO BED... WHAT A HALLOWEEN THAT WAS...GLAD IT IS OVER..AS FOR MY LIP IT IS SWOLLEN AND IT HURTS LIKE A SON OF A BITCH STILL...LEGS FEEL BETTER..GOTTA GO GET BRACES TODAY..OH JOY OH BLISS....WHAT A MESS I AM.....
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT HALLOWEEN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID...
YESTERDAY MORNING AT 8;15 MY JOURNEY BEGUN ....OFF TO THE DOCTOR TO FIND OUT WHY MY FEET AND LEGS GO NUMB..IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY KNEES..HE NOW WANTS ME TO WEAR KNEE BRACES AND CONTINUE WITH PHYSICAL THERAPY FOR MY KNEES AND BACK..REASON BEING....
WHEN THEY DID THE NERVE AND MUSCLE STUDY THEY FOUND THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MY BACK..THEY TOOK X-RAYS AND NOW ARE SETTING UP AND MRI...WOO HOO... THAT TEST TOOK 2 HOURS OF SHOCKS AND NEEDLES...OUCH...MY DAUGHTER CAME IN WITH ME...HELD MY HAND...IT HURT LIKE A SON OF A BITCH...SHE DROVE HOME...GOT HOME POPPED A FEW PAIN KILLERS...THE CATS TORE DOWN MY CURTAINS..SO I HOPED ON THE COUCH TO FIX THEM AS I WAS COMING DOWN OFF THE COUCH..MY DOG JUMP UP..
CRASH INTO MY CHIN...BLOOD STARTED FLOWING ALL OVER THE PLACE..I SAID CHEROKEE YOU DREW BLOOD..I HATE THE TASTE OF BLOOD...YUCK..SO I WENT INTO THE BATHROOM AND MY TOOTH WENT THOUGH MY LIP...BLOOD EVERYWHERE..MEANWHILE JUST AS WE ARRIVED HOME..MY DAUGHTER HAD TO TAKE THE GIRLS FOR A CHECK UP AT THE DOCTORS..
SO HERE I AM WITH BLOOD ALL OVER MY FACE AND HANDS ..I GRABBED A FEW TISSUES AND POCKET BOOK AND WROTE A NOTE SAYING I WENT TO ER...
GOT THERE AND THEY SAID I NEEDED STICTHES...GREAT..THEY GAVE ME A TENUOUS SHOT..OUCH AND STICTHED UP MY FAT LIP...HOME I DRIVE...NOW IT'S 4:30 PM AND I AM TRYING TO REST...
TRICK OR TREATING STARTS AT 6PM AROUND HERE...MY SON IN LAW GOT US SOME BAILEYS SO I COULD RELAX...YUM...MY MOUTH WAS STILL NICE AND NUMB...SIP..SIP..SIP...GULP ..GULP.....TIME TO GET THE GIRLS READY FOR TRICK OR TRICKING...UGH
SO NANA GETS UP IN SO MUCH PAIN AND GETS DRESSED UP FOR THEM AND HELPS GET THEM DRESSED UP...I HAD MY OWN TRICK OR TRICKING BAD...THEY WERE SO HAPPY NANA WAS GOING..I WASN'T SO SURE I COULD DO IT..BUT IF THERE IS A WILL THERE'S A WAY...HUBBY STAYED BEHIND TO HAND OUT CANDY..OFF WE WENT INTO THE NIGHT...
THEY HAD A BLAST AND I EVEN GOT CANDY! GOT HOME AROUND 9PM...HAD SOME MORE BAILEYS AND WENT TO BED... WHAT A HALLOWEEN THAT WAS...GLAD IT IS OVER..AS FOR MY LIP IT IS SWOLLEN AND IT HURTS LIKE A SON OF A BITCH STILL...LEGS FEEL BETTER..GOTTA GO GET BRACES TODAY..OH JOY OH BLISS....WHAT A MESS I AM.....
HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT HALLOWEEN NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID...
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